Cuius regio, Eius religio

  I think I’m beginning to narrow down my problem with some of the status quo a little more.  Just the problem, not a practical solution, other than waiting on the Lord.

  See, Joel Loukus is a huge idealist.  He persists in quixotic notions about Life.  He values truth and morality, honor, love, respect for life, and wisdom above his own happiness, and tries to carry this idea to it’s ultimate conclusion in all that he does.

So, of the three objectives:  Pursuing God, propogating an Family, and making cool movies, I’ll unabashedly claim that numbers one and three are pretty well in the works.  Number Two is sticky, at best.

 I value monogamous love, it’s expression in sex, and the institution of marriage at such a staggering importance, that I have taken this vow to not Kiss until marriage.

  Here’s the main rub.  More than a few women have exclaimed at how wonderful this is.  The words echo, “Any woman would be lucky”.  In time- on average of about a year- most of these women have opted to *not* be the lucky girl, and have gone for men with far less idealism.  In fact, most of them have gone off with men with no idealism. 

 Agnostics.

Or, in other words, Men that are inherently unable to commit to real ideas.  Maybe that’s harsh.  I am not sorry, neither.

 The reason that this is so offensive to me, is that I have held out this romantic, idealistic, pure love to women, and I have been spurned in favor of men with worldviews that, when pressed, would force them to admit that thier actions– all those sweet kisses on the forehead, or quiet tea parties, or sweet nothings whispered– are simply biological, and that monogamy is a joke, and that the only finality in the universe is chaos and death.  That men and women(or whichever) embrace each other temporarily, worshiping the physical comfort of thier biology.

And it is truly, absolutely, offensive to have that chosen over what I will describe as real love. 

 It is, without a doubt, the most offensive thing that happens to me.  And it happens- basically- every year.

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